Humor is mankind's greatest blessing

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it

Golf is a good walk spoiled

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

To get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career

When in doubt tell the truth

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man