Money

The civility which money will purchase, is rarely extended to those who have none.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

To contract new debts is not the way to pay old ones

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of

When it's a question of money, everybody is of the same religion

Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest

The world asks, what does a man own? Christ, how does he use it?

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math

Few man have virtue to withstand the highest bidder