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I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel

People who don't know how to keep themselves healthy ought to have the decency to get themselves buried, and not waste time about it.

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity

It is the nature of the wise to resist pleasures, but the foolish to be a slave to them